


Reaper tested, Director approved

by CrystalCorvuwulf (BlueMoonHound)



Series: Lucretia [10]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Ice Cream, Multi, Polyamory, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:45:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13234047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoonHound/pseuds/CrystalCorvuwulf
Summary: Sometimes, Barry and Lup just need a break from all this reaper bullshit. Lucretia knows exactly how to oblige.





	Reaper tested, Director approved

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh i haven't written much porn like, ever, hope u like!!

Lup is exhausted.

Long day puts it lightly-- they've been so busy, there were about five necromancy cults running around today and half of them wore bluejeans, which squicked the fuck out of her. She isn't alone on this, judging by Barry's expression. And once they got back from dealing with that? Time to do paperwork. File these motherfuckers away. Even Kravitz looks dead (ha) on his feet after a day like today. (she and Barry sent him home. We can handle it, dear, go smooch your cute elf lover.)

Lup didn't even notice she was falling asleep on her paperwork till a bony hand starts jostling her awake.

“Lup. Come on. You two need a break.”

She grumbles, lifts her head off her desk, and looks behind her. It's the one, the only, it's godmod girl, Lucretia in the flesh. She's wearing a sad imitation that skirt Taako gave her in cycle sixty-six, a skirt that was probably retired from age. Living a long time has it's drawbacks. The bulwark staff is strapped to her back and she looks positively vibrant today. Probably spent her afternoon in the celestial plane, hanging out with Pan and Merle.

Lucky asshole. “What do ya want.”

“Come on, let's fetch jeans boy, and I'll get you ice cream. Celestial or prime material?”

“Prime material makes better ice cream,” Lup yawns, stretching. “Let's go there.”

“I'm insulted,” Lucretia says, but her voice is light and gentle, relaxed and honest-to-gods genuinely happy, which makes Lup's heart soar just a little. It's been so rare to hear Lucretia sounding happy in the past few hundred years that she clings to every moment of positive Lucy she gets.

She pushes off her tiredness and gets up, following Lucretia to the neighboring cubicle, where Barry's still working away. He's wearing the “nec _romantic_ ” shirt Lucretia got him a few years ago, and he's got a necromancy book propped on the table and a paladin history book leaning against his leg. His shelf is littered with random class bullshit because he seems to care more about multiclassing than about his own job, the doofus. (It makes candlenights presents easy. Just get him random spellbooks, he'll be overjoyed.)

As it is, though, this is not candlenights. It's mid January, cold even in the Astral plane (the astral plane is _always_ cold, Lup, someone might remind her) and distinctly not the right time of year to get ice cream. It's the time of year Lucretia and Barry insist on getting ice cream because humans are strange and have strange culture.

Magnus refutes this. “No, it's just those guys,” he'd say. He'd be like, “They’re the weirdest humans i've ever met. Maybe they're _not_ human. Maybe they wear glamours all the time, they are wizards, right?” He's joking, of course. They're definitely both humans (at least as a starting point, who _knows_ about Lucretia anymore) and they definitely both had ice cream in January back during the century.

“Barold, it's ice cream time for the immortality squad,” Lucretia says, completely straight faced. She's removed her staff from the holster on her back. She's a much more casual version of the Director she once was, leaning against the wall with it in her right hand. (She still hasn't removed the stupid BOB bracer, it looks really silly on her wrist.)

“You know, I'm glad you're finally comfortable with that,” Barry says, not looking up from his paperwork. He jots something suspiciously necrotic in a notebook he has open and then closes the file folder.

“Yes, and I'd like you to be more comfortable coming to the market with me and eating a pint of ice cream,” Lucretia replies.

“I'm never uncomfortable with that,” Barry finally looks at her, a smile playing at the edges of his face, calm and perfect. Lup's breath catches in her throat. Her partners are so perfect. Perfect, perfect nerds.

“Come on, then!” Lucretia offers Barry a hand, and when he takes it she pulls him up into a kiss, quick and gentle, lips against lips. They break apart and Lucretia throws her arm over Barry's shoulder. Once they're out of the tiny cubicle space, Lup slides her own arm around Barrys' waist. _Good and warm and soft_.

It's freezing out, and Lup finds herself interminably glad she's pressed against Barry's side instead of Lucretia's, because that girl is an air conditioner in a flesh body. It's a miracle she managed to survive when she was mortal. It's a miracle she likes ice cream in midwinter. However it's also not a surprise that Lucretia likes to wear about fifteen layers of clothing even in the summer, however crabby that makes her. (Very crabby. And sweaty, and basically just annoyed.) The grocery store, thankfully, is much warmer than the outdoors.

“Got a flavor preference?” Lucretia asks, bending down a little to eye the lower shelves.

“Do they have Jalapeño?” Lup leans to the side, looks at some of the other shelves.

“What the hell, Lup?” Barry laughs. “Let's get cookies n' cream.”

“Lup's just looking for something warm, wrong shelf.” Lucretia says. “Warm is that way.” She points at the bakery.

“I can think of some other ways to get warm,” Lup wiggles her eyebrows. Lucretia blushes and pretends she isn't.

"Jalapeños won't even raise your core body temperature," Barry mutters, probably to himself. 

"You know what I wish? I wish they had pistachio ice cream," Lucretia says loudly. 

The three of them sit on a bench outside the supermarket and eat ice cream for a while-- Lup refuses to sit on the cold bench or eat more than a couple bites of cookies n' cream, of which she also _demands_ that Barry save some for later when they're _actually somewhere goddamn warm, idiots_. Lucretia eats an entire container of chocolate chip coffee ice cream all by herself. She actually growls at Barry when he tries to steal a bite.

Lup is very, very happy to get back to Lucretia's house, where it's warm.

Not as warm as Barry, though. Lup leans in for a kiss.

 

Lucretia puts away the ice cream. She feels so light and happy today, even if she's not sure why. She doesn't want to question this feeling. It's good, and she doesn't want it to go away – especially not with the promise of the two lovely people in the next room. They don't need her struggles on their shoulders with the amount they already deal with. She can think of better things to give them. 

In fact, after it all, she's surprised Barry let her into their little polycule. Yeah, she'd had a thing with Lup back on the starblaster, but for nearly a hundred years she'd been sure as fuck she wouldn't be welcome anywhere near him, whether he begrudgingly forgave her or not. In the past, it's made Lucretia a little nervous around Barry, because he's a formidable force that somehow decided to forgive her. That being said, she can't read minds. She will never know exactly what in that mess is an 100% guarantee. 

But the fact is, there's two hot pieces of ass in the next room, and Lucretia's feeling good – and as a result, fairly confident – so she pushes the unlatched door to her bedroom the rest of the way open and heads on in.

Lucretia stands by the entrance, feeling pleasantly voyeuristic, as Barry and Lup devour each other's faces on her fresh white sheets. Barry's wearing his third pair of jeans in two hundred years, a pair she got for him that he wears every single day, and has since his birthday, forty years ago. They're worn, though not as worn as the pair he wore for the entire century.

She knows she's been noticed when Lup shifts her legs to give her a better view. Barry takes the hint and shifts a little too, one of his hands sliding down between Lup's thighs and making her moan into his mouth. She pulls away, ears twitching, puts a finger to Barry's lips, and turns to Lucretia.

“So what do you think we should do?”

Lucretia raises her eyebrows. Usually, she's the one asking the questions. “I haven't seen Barry's body in a while. Let's get him naked.” There's a certain amount of confidence these two have trained into her in sexual situations which helps with a steady, deep, commanding voice in the bedroom.

She smirks at the blush that intensifies on Barry's face as she speaks.

“Hey Lucy, get away from the door and stop acting like a stranger! I'm a do a kiss on you but you're too far away.” Lup pouts.

Lucretia chuckles, striding across the room and taking Lup's whole face in her hands. Lup's ears twitch against her fingers as she lays lips against lips, pushing against her skin. She tastes Lup's chapstick, some berry flavor, and then her mouth, tongue licking along her sharp, elven canines, tickling the roof of her mouth, exploring her. Lup's tongue finds its way into her own mouth, too, brushing along her incisors. Heat pulsates steadily through her body, making her clothing uncomfortably warm, but she doesn't want to take anything off – not yet.

Lucretia is jolts out of her reverie when a hand lands on her crotch. It's not Lup's hand, it's Barry's, thick strong fingers against the fabric of her pants. “Why do you wear so much goddamn clothing,” Barry complains, looping around Lup so the two of them can keep kissing.

“Would you rather I wore less?” Lucretia says. “It's awfully cold out for that.” But she unfastens her cloak anyway, and then sheds her robe without backing away from the two of them, piles of fabric landing on the floor in thick heaps. Her pants, her long underwear, and her lingerie-- those were staying on, if nothing else to tease the bluejeans man. She lets herself rut into his hand anyway, because it's a pleasant sensation and it annoys him.

Lucretia goes back to exploring Lup's face. (Lup's face, which she knows by heart, but loves to discover again every single day.) Over her clothes, Barry's fingers explore her cootch, feather light and edging into infuriating with every moment.

Finally, when a reasonable amount of time has passed, Lucretia leans back to take a breath. “I want his dick.”

Barry makes a squeaky noise.

Lup grins. “Well, good, because I want his face, and I might've had to tell ya no.”

Lucretia steps back, leaving Lup sitting back, and walks around the bed. Standing behind him, she reaches around and begins to unfasten Barry's belt, her fingers ghosting over the tip of his erection and making him squirm. _Payback_. Not that she would ever admit that his own teasing had bothered her in the slightest.

Goodness, Lucretia hasn't given Barry a good tease session in months. She can feel all the pent up energy just under his skin and it's glorious.

She slides her hands under Barry's shirt and lets Lup unbutton it, feeling Barry's sizable pectoral muscles, running her fingers over his nipples. She grins into his shoulder when he moans, and then slides his shirt off entirely because Lup is done unbuttoning it and her hands have replaced Lucretia's, feeling up Barry's torso. Lucretia makes a point of neatly folding his shirt, putting it on a chair. She then folds up her cloak and her robe, putting them on top.

“What do you think, should we take off his pants?”

Lucretia chews her lip, weighing the options. “I do want to see him, _but_ ,”

“Such a tease,” Lup says. She unbuttons the button but leaves the fly up, batting away Barry's hand when he reaches for the zipper pull.

“I think it's my turn,” Lucretia decides, pulling off her shirt in one swift movement, folding it neatly, putting it on the chair. Just enough lace peeks out from under her undershirt to be enticing. This was a well planned endeavor. She unbuttons her pants, unzips them – Lup's hand plays against Barry's dick, perfectly timed – slides them to the floor. Steps out of them, heels still on, folds them, puts them on the chair. Stretches.

She grabs the hem of her undershirt, pulling it up over her head, revealing a baby blue bralette and just the upper edge of a matching lace garter. She folds it and puts it on the chair, then turns around, still wearing her long underwear, and smirks.

“Am I undressed enough?”

A chorus of “NO!” fills the room, Barry's face pleading and Lup's indignant. Lucretia's smirk widens. She takes them off as well. Barry makes a pleasant little noise. Lup blushes deeper.

Lucretia turns back around, arms resting behind her back, wearing a full ensemble in pale blue. She'd made extra careful that everything matched, even the shoes. She watches Barry realize this and squirm a little. She strides back to the bed and kisses him, long and deep.

“Your turn,” She says to Lup. She leans forward, kisses Lup just the same, her hands running down Lup's shirt till they find the hem. Her skin is so soft, warm against Lucretia's old fingers. She plays with her happy trail for a moment, enjoying the soft elf hair. Lup's ears twitch.

Lucretia breaks the kiss long enough to wrestle Lup out of her shirt and kisses along her jawline. “I love you,” she gasps.

Lup's hands are fiddling at Lucretia's bra, trying to unclasp it at the back. “I love ya too,” Lup says, and Lucretia's close enough to her chest that she can feel it rumble through her body. Lucretia feels like she's swimming. Emotions get startlingly close to spilling out of her eyes.

Lup manages to unclasp Lucretia's bra while Lucretia mouths her collarbone. She runs her hands over Lucretia's breasts and sighs into Lucretia's hair.

Lucretia feels like she's flying.

She breaks off a moment before she would have started crying, sitting back on her heels. “Okay, no more pants in this household,” she says, looking at the line where Lup's thighs squish together. Lup starts shimmying out of her leggings and Lucretia turns to Barry. “Your turn.”

Barry leans back, then flops across the bed. “O-okay,” he sighs. Lucretia reaches down and promptly frees his dick from its jean-trap. He makes an extremely satisfying groaning noise as she pulls the jeans away entirely. She settles herself on his underwear, right over his erection, and rolls her hips gently. Her thighs flex with the effort of holding herself above him.

“This good?”

Barry moans, seeming lost for words, but he also nods at her. She shoots a look at Lup, who clambers back onto the bed and sits down by his head, running her fingers through his hair and removing his glasses, folding them on the bedside table.

“Remember, tap either of us _three times_ if you need us to stop. You know the drill.”

Barry nods and taps Lup's leg twice.

“I'll go first,” Lup says, pulling her underwear off. Lucretia follows suit, unclipping her garter and slipping off her panties, refastening the clips on her thigh highs when the underwear is gone and sitting back on Barry's thighs. Lup settles herself over Barry's face and lets him try to unfasten her bra. He manages to do it, too, with little apparent effort. These two are goddamn coordinated, like dancers. Lup's legs brush against Lucretia's as she moves.

Lup moans and ruts against Barry's face, he reaches down and pets Lucretia's thighs, fingers her labia, circles her clit. Lucretia leans forward to kiss Lup, hands going for her breasts. She grinds against Barry's hand.

Lucretia can feel her heart going fast in her chest. These two. These two! They're her partners, her people, her datefriends, something she never thought she would have. The- whatever powerful emotion she'd been feeling for the past thirty minutes- it spills over onto her cheeks.

Lup wipes happy tears from her face and she breaks their kiss, for just a moment, her forehead against Lup's. Her bright orange eyes glow in the lamplight.

Barry's fingers move again, brushing against Lucretia's clit, and she clenches almost painfully on nothing. Lucretia refocuses on sex, She snaps back Barry's underwear, unleashing his dick, and runs a finger along the base of it. She's out of the reach of Barry's fingers for a moment as she rubs her clit up his length, arching her back.

Lucretia slides a little farther forward and, finally, sits down in Barry's dick. It's warm and solid and satisfying, thick but not too long. They fit together like puzzle pieces.

“You're perfect, Barry,” Lucretia sighs, rolling her hips as she takes him to the hilt. She leans forward til her face is resting in between Lup's boobs. She can feel her girlfriend's hot breath against her shoulderblade. Lup wiggles her whole body and Lucretia decides to put her mouth on her breast, sucking gently along the skin, enjoying the give to it. She rolls her hips and clenches against Barry, just enough so he gasps against Lup's entrance.

Lucretia sits back a little and bounces on Barry, her body buzzing with heat and intensity and excitement. She trembles, and she has to focus hard to keep moving.

Lup yells, jerking against Barry's face, heaving with the force of an orgasm and then collapsing into Lucretia's arms. Lucretia catches her- Barely -for a moment, just long enough that she can climb off. Lucretia hooks her arms around Barry's neck and yanks him half upright, shuddering against him.

He tastes like Lup. She licks the taste of Lup out of his mouth, feeling like she's going to explode any moment. It's getting harder and harder to hold herself upright. It's getting harder to control her legs but she doesn't have the emotional space to worry about it.

She definitely doesn't have room to worry about it when one of Barry's hands finds her clit again and everything gets washy and bright. Lucretia's nerves light up, and she thinks she might make a noise but she's not entirely sure. She clenches around Barry and arcs into the pressure.

The moment passes, and Lucretia leans back, feeling full and bursting with butterflies. Someone slides their arms under hers and helps her sit up, and then there's lips on her lips. It's lup, she can tell because the teeth are sharp and strange and elven.

She feels like she drank five glasses of wine, a buzzing warmth and pleasure still ringing through her body. It's much better, though, and she doesn't want to cry quite as much. She kisses the corner of Lup's mouth, nips at the base of her ear, and then falls over on the bed because her legs don't want to do that much work quite yet. That's okay.

“Hey,” Barry catches her. His arms are so warm.

Lup yawns.

“Same,” Lucretia mumbles, and them something occurs to her. She turns over and looks at Barry. “Did you--”

“Yeah, babe.” He kisses her nose. Lucretia smiles.

Lup loops her arms around Lucretia and pulls her against her chest, pulling the sheets that Lucretia was sure were underneath her a moment ago over her body. Barry curls around her on the other side.

Lucretia sighs, and lets herself fall asleep, listening to them breathe.


End file.
